One of the much-loved events of the Sedgefield Slow Festival in years gone by was the ‘Anything That Floats’ competition, traditionally held on Fish Eagle Green, The Island. The great news is that despite there being no Slow Festival this year – ANYTHING THAT FLOATS is back and set to take place on 8 October.

For those not in the know, this event is all about… well… not sinking. Or at least sinking with dignity. It’s a sort of a boat race without boats.

Here’s how it works. On the day of the event (mark your waterproof diaries), each entered team (two or more people – the more, the merrier) has to bring materials to build their craft on site. These… er… crafts (that IS a very loose description) can be made of ANYTHING (that floats) except real boat parts, surfboards, paddle skis etc.

Once the craft is built/ assembled/tied together with string/sellotape/glue, it is presented by the team to a select panel of (non)experts who judge according to the originality of the design and the charisma of the team (a song or war cry is a good idea, but not compulsory). Then, after being launched onto the lagoon just off Fish Eagle Green (this is the point where there is more than the occasional sinking feeling), the craftily crafted crafts are put to the test against one another in an exciting series of heats (or colds – depending on the weather).

There will be different racing categories – but these are decided on the day – dependent on entries.

In their grim determination to sneak in and win this event oars down, The EDGE Community Newspaper will be the sponsor/manager/bribe facilitator of the Anything That Floats, whilst all the money raised will go to Masithandane.
If any business, club, family, group of friends, or group of enemies, wishes to bravely accept this challenge and enter a craft while fully realising that you will never EVER beat the SS EDGE…. (Just saying) then you should email Admiral Bomber Webb (editor@edge

The entry fee is R350 per team (all for charity). There will be prizes, and there’s a (wait for it) Floating Trophy up for grabs. If you would like to sponsor an entry for a Sedgefield Scouts team (who will happily fly your flag), this is also possible.

SANParks have generously allowed us to use the green, and NSRI Lifeguards will be on-site to rescue anyone who goes overboard.